A person can lose a friend because some people are only temporary in our life, or because the person is a terrible friend. If you wonder: “why do I keep losing friends?” this post will clarify it for you.
Read on and find out why you and your friends are more distant.
- 1 Why Do I Keep Losing Friends?
- 1.1 1. Your friends are meeting people more like them
- 1.2 2. One of the two improved, and the other didn’t
- 1.3 3. You do wrong and don’t notice it nor apologize
- 1.4 4. Poor social skills
- 1.5 5. You become dependant/overwhelming
- 1.6 6. You’ve developed different interests
- 1.7 7. You are constantly mentioning uncomfortable topics
Why Do I Keep Losing Friends?
“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day”Dalai lama
1. Your friends are meeting people more like them
People make friends throughout life. You get new jobs, move to new cities, etc.
Sometimes, our friends meet people more compatible with them than us. And because they already know us well, it’s understandable that our friends start spending more time talking to these new people.
Plus, regularly seeing someone makes us like that person even more.
Over time, you and your old friend begin to talk and hang out less. So both parties split.
This scenario happens to college students often. If this is your case, know that losing friends is an inherent part of growing up.
For that reason, you should not feel guilty for making new friends. Always be enrolling in new activities and actively increasing your network.
2. One of the two improved, and the other didn’t
Not everyone spends their time the same way. A year is more than enough time to feel like a different person than the one you were 365 days ago.
Some struggle with jobs and studies, while others simply relax at home. As a result, the former person loses compatibility with the latter.
For example, a friend of yours went to the gym 5 times a week during the year while you binge-watched Netflix at home.
Self-improvement demands time, so they have less time for you than before.
Also, they prefer to share their self-development stories with people that might understand them better.
3. You do wrong and don’t notice it nor apologize
Some behaviors can push away our friends. Sometimes we are not even conscious of our wrong actions.
However, we take them for granted and keep repeating these actions. Some examples of push-away behaviors could be:
- Replying late to their text messages
- Hurting them with a joke
- You talk behind their backs
- You are not honest with them
Even if you notice your mistakes and say sorry, the truth is that you can only apologize so many times.
Every time we hurt someone, we leave a scar. If your friends have a large social circle, they are more likely to stop giving you attention sooner.
For some, it’s easy to make friends, while for others, it’s hard to keep the few they have. That’s how life works.
You could be in the second group, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m sure you have dozens of fantastic qualities.
So, I’ll give you a hand with how to keep your friends.
Poor social skills often mean one of the following: Either you’re shy or don’t make time for your friends.
When you are shy, you are afraid of disturbing them or interrupt them, thus making them angry with you.
If you consider yourself a bit shy, keep the following in mind.
Even if they are busy, they’ll be happy that you thought of them. So text your friends every once in a while, no matter if they reply late.
On the other hand, if the one who’s occupied is you, remember that not everything in life is work or money.
Reply to your friends’ stories on Instagram, or arrange a dinner with them.
Following these steps are worth the time and effort, as you and your friends will remain close to each other.
5. You become dependant/overwhelming
This next point might fall into the category of poor social skills. But this time on the side of being too spirited.
Maybe you are trying to force a connection with your friends, and that only pushes them away. Be aware of small signs that your friends give you when they need space.
They might start giving you one-word replies, or they reply after a long time.
If they don’t consider you their best friend, it’s ok. Overwhelming them with text messages and compliments will only work against you.
Also, some young men and women become too attached to one of their friends. Someone you know might consider you their best friend, but you must learn how to be alone.
If you cannot go one day without talking to this friend, your personality that they like will likely change.
You could scare them away by acting overly confident with them or simply by monopolizing their time.
6. You’ve developed different interests
During school or college, you and your friends share the goal of graduating. You help each other and spend a lot of time together.
However, after school, you all take separate paths. And, with only 24 hours a day, it can become hard to find time for old friends, especially after long days of work.
As you understand with this one and some previous points, losing friends is a part of life.
You are not the only one. Lots of people who were close friends with someone in college are not anymore.
They soon found out they were only buddies to fulfill their interests (obtaining their degree).
It’s not that you are terrible at being a friend. Sometimes you just were meant to be a temporary friend.
7. You are constantly mentioning uncomfortable topics
People remember more how we make them feel than what we actually said. In that order, you should avoid the following topics:
- Complaining about your life
- Did I say complaining?
Logically, we move toward the people who are funny and make us feel good. If you have no choice but to mention one of the previous topics, keep it short.
Otherwise, people will say: “oh no” every time you text them.
Related post: How To Be More Interesting Over Text.
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