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Why Do I Attract Toxic People? 5 Recurrent Reasons Why You Attract Toxic Friends and Partners

It’s so frustrating to invest time and affection in someone only to discover they are super toxic. Now, you must start from scratch with a new person.

What’s worse, you’ve been on this vicious cycle of meeting toxic people for a couple of years. So, you might start thinking that something is wrong with you. Why do I attract toxic people?

Well, good news. You are likely a good fella. That’s what most toxic people are seeking.

Today, I bring you five common reasons why someone attracts toxic people into their life. Read carefully and take action later, so you make the most of your time reading today’s blog post.

1. You don’t establish boundaries

Being too generous with your time not always brings high-quality friends. It can attract the wrong people sometimes. Toxic people like to have one or two friends they can call at any time to tell them about their problems.

If you don’t establish boundaries like people respecting your work time or sleep hours, your acquaintances will abuse your generosity. They will get used to calling you for favors.

What’s wrong with that? You may ask. Maybe you like these people. Maybe even romantically. The issue is that not setting boundaries will lead to them not returning your efforts.

As a result, you’ll end up upset and without this person.

Usually, the reason for this behavior from you is that you hate conflict. You always agree to their requests because you don’t want to start an argument or upset them.

However, you must know that no healthy relationship grows without conflict. Learn to resolve conflicts, and all parties will respect each other.

Here is a short thread I wrote on Twitter regarding boundaries.

2. You constantly try to please others

If they weren’t toxic, this behavior turns the people you know a bit toxic. Pleasing others all the time is impossible.

When we constantly try to meet other people’s demands, we spoil them into believing that they deserve everything. They don’t realize the effort you are making on the other end.

You don’t need to make things perfect for other people to like you. In fact, chasing someone pulls them away rather than attracting them.

You are allowed to make mistakes, and you are allowed to put your needs first. That way, you attract people that respect your job and your hobbies instead of attracting toxic people.

3. You want to save everybody

Pay attention to this one. If you feel like constantly attracting toxic individuals to your life, you might have the White Knight Syndrome. This is when someone establishes relationships with people with problems.

Why so? Because these people — and maybe you — think that by fixing someone, this person will love you in return. In the process, you have to deal with years of toxic behavior from the other person, only to realize that a true relationship doesn’t start this way.

4. You are way too loyal

Being a loyal person is one of the most admirable traits in a human being. However, you need to know when to let go of some people — at least a bit.

You attract toxic people when you are too loyal because they feel like even if they disrespect you, you will be for them once again if they need you. They will use you and probably won’t return you a favor in the future.

Loyalty makes you a valuable person. But for toxic people, you are someone useful — just not in a good way.

5. You believe all people are honest

You hate lying, and that’s terrific. However, you think everybody is just as honest as you. Well, some individuals are attracted to genuine and sincere people to benefit from them.

When you open up with everybody a short time after meeting them, you might think they’ll reciprocate your honesty. However, toxic people will use your good heart to make you do things for them or lie when they do wrong to you.

Keep your secrets to yourself as much as you can. Make sure you know a person thoroughly before trusting them.

Signs of a Toxic Person

  • Gaslighting: Beware when someone repeatedly twists your words to make you seem like crazy.
  • Dishonesty: Don’t get used to forgiving lies too often because you might be creating a monster.
  • Excessive sarcasm: Toxic people are not usually direct. We are all sarcastic, but too much sarcasm is not healthy.
  • Negativity: It’s better to keep a distance from those who spread negativity most of the day. They’ll turn your life negative as a byproduct.
  • Narcissism: Toxic people think they are the most important person and that they deserve everything good before anyone else.

Related post: How to Detox Your Mind From Negativity: 7 Practical Ways to Create a More Positive Reality.

How To Stop Attracting Toxic People?

You must learn to set clear boundaries if you are attracting toxic people. It is better to be alone than in bad company. Create distance — for months if necessary.

Your time and energy are valuable, and you should not give them to those who don’t deserve them.

Plus, see if you display toxic behaviors yourself. It could be one of the reasons why you are having a hard time attracting better people.

Lastly, trust that the good individuals who deserve your best traits will come when the time is right.

If you like our content, tell your friends about it. But don’t tell your enemies!

1 thought on “Why Do I Attract Toxic People? 5 Recurrent Reasons Why You Attract Toxic Friends and Partners”

  1. Pingback: How to Deal with a Jerk Brother: 5 Practical Ways to Behave When You Have Toxic Siblings – Young Life Strategy

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